why do i feel so wrong...

The loneliness that ensconces me when I walk... the bubble that’s surrounding me with vacuum-like sound...

Droplets cold as ice pelt onto my face, covering the screen that has become my eyes with a crystallised design.

My footsteps echo about me, the wind howls flipping the huge silver loops on my earlobes.

I wonder...is it just me that feels this isolation?

Surely...look...everyone around me has company. I see that...and it’s just me that walks alone...

Why do I feel so wrong? Why am I so different?

Acceptance; I no longer look for, nor do I yearn it, for it won’t come.

Belonging; another I’ve stopped expecting...

I know I’ll never be one of them... or one of you...

I’ve heard so many people say...wonder out loud... how I cannot be ‘labelled’ or ‘stereotyped’. Maybe that’s why I won’t fit in...

I only want to stop feeling this wrong. I like who I am. I may not be perfect... I may be a hot tempered, stubborn paradox. I may be quiet, shy and a bit of a recluse. I may be moody, over emotional, particular and a tad too straight-laced at times.

But that defines who I am.

I don’t want to become something else just to be ‘accepted’! Mayhap, that impertinence on my part makes me so hateable. Yes, I know how a lot of people detest me... The looks they give... the way they talk when I turn around... I know...

I’ll be free one day...free of all of that... I guess it’s just high school...

And yeah, I know I said the same about this year at the end of last year... Heck, I’ve said it at the end of every year! Yeah, I’m a dreamer. So what? I’ll dream... And one day... the love I can give...and who I am inside... will show...

One day...

I’ll be free of the chains that hold me inside myself... my inhibitions...

One day...

I’ll feel right...

But in the meantime...

Tell me why...

I feel so wrong...

A coldness...

Like the freezing rain...

That’s soaking me...

Numbing me...

Tell me why...

I must be so...


~ random thoughts to myself...guess getting soaked in freezing rain wasn't much good for my head =P ~

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~ well, thats the end of the "poepics"... hope you liked 'em ^^ ~

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~ still a few more to come... later...~

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the plain old truth

~ continued when I can locate the other halves of this... guess am going down memory lane...summin I found from a while ago too... ~

there are dreams, and then, there are dreams...

Something from quite a long while ago...

My dream guy would be...

Kind n Caring

Compassionate

Romantic

Sensitive

Empathetic

Dhenn.. ambitious..

Studious

Sweet :P

Decent.. that means disciplined.. and have a good past.. like maa nubai koh noolhe.. u know dho

Good family... thats like.. not a family of addicts.. or criminals n who don’t hate ME!! lol

Must have a sense of humour but not a total clown :P

Be able to put up with me.. mind you.. thats pretty difficult sometimes and maybe “neutralize me” if that’s not too much to ask

Able to support me if I need em.. and give me advice.. n be there for me...

Intelligent too.. but not necessarily a genius :P

Educated

Love kids

Ohh and two more things.. Should not make me live in Maldives (that includes all S.E. Asian countries n probably most of Asia… hmm n Africa n umm Mid-east too lol!!)

And be great at English

Well, is that such a lot to ask for in a guy?? It doesn’t even sound that PERFECT to be inhumane dammit!! Oh well, whatever happens, happens.

Who gives a shiite anyway!!

Me *small voice*

Yeah you, you stupid idiot!

*kicks n tears the hopeless romantic in self to bits*

Over n out for now.