random thoughts....is it so wrong?

I hold my emotions out of my façade among these people; my college-mates. Its tiring... This smile that just upturns the corners of my mouth – a gesture of courtesy. The greeting; like a particle in the breeze, meaning nothing; naught at all except an acknowledgement of my existence... I’ve never been one for hiding my emotions... It is so tiring... But then who is there for me to show my feelings to? Burst into tears in public? Like that would achieve anything but make a spectacle out of myself... yet this... this is tiring...

Sometimes I feel like I can’t take it anymore. I feel like I’m fighting a merciless, mighty hurricane that is determined to leave destroyed the remains of this frail soul in its wake.

True, I may not be the only one feeling this way. All I’m saying is that its hard. And whoever does feel this way, I’d sympathise with... except I detest that sympathy from others, so if you will, I won’t give mine.

Anyway, going back to that previous thread of thought... Sometimes I just feel like giving up and doing nothing at all...

Sometimes I just wish there was someone who’d hold me close... tell me I can make it... someone who’d love me unconditionally, without expectations... Someone who’d tell me it’ll all be alright...and make all the grey clouds disappear...

Is it so wrong to want the warmth of such an embrace? Is it so wrong to want to be loved that way? Is it so wrong to just want a shoulder to cry on? One that would not judge my moment of weakness?

Not wrong, perhaps... Just plain impossible...